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Flakoglost Futbol Pod

A podcast about soccer...in America.
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Flakoglost Futbol Pod
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Now displaying: Page 6
May 15, 2015

Lee Nguyen is currently trending on Craig's list. Go under apartment rentals, click on Single White Female reports live from TFC. We talk about that incident at BMO field, the "F%ck her right in the P%ssy" debacle. We get to the Hudson River Derby Darby and recap all of week ten too! 

 

May 8, 2015

Corn dog sales are up at Rio Tinto stadium. The guys run down MLS week 9 results too!

May 1, 2015

Club America did what most everyone thought they would do, Win! Jeff Cassar grunts in New England. Columbus bare bottom spank the Union. TFC continue onto Orlando in their own version of antique roadshow. Colorado don't lose but they certainly didn't win. And the Unimas guys continue to show up drunk to their only day of work - the broadcast. 

Apr 24, 2015

Bring a saddle Cause Uncle Kyle's come home to the Wasatch Mtns. It's week 7 and TFC keep losing, Philly too! GalaxySounders both win, which aren't all that surprising, and DC United draw which feels like a win. It's also talk like William Shakespeare day which seemeth reason to talk like assholes! Enjoy...

Apr 20, 2015

Jose is back in town. There's no place like home. We chat dos a cero, pancho villa's army, San Antonio, and USMNT. 

Apr 17, 2015

Boring. Boring. Boring week 6. Exposed paper towels. Syrian magnets. Muffins. These are a few of Richard’s favorite things. Jose goes missing this week and ends up inside the Alamo Dome. We say nice things about Jose in his absence. Really! That’s what we decided to talk about, how much we miss Jose!

The MLS relegation battle heats up in week 6. The guys run down the power rankings and the current table. Needless to say the guys were left a little surprised when it came to which teams were on the bottom shit mountain. Per the norm we run down the games and give our half-assed predictions. One thing is for certain, we got at least one prediction right! While the announcement by Robert Kraft hasn’t gone public just yet, we figured out why dump trucks continue to muck up the end zone at Gillette Stadium. It’s just a big hole for AA Ron Hernandez to fall into. Insert New England and Columbus Crew nil/nil draw joke here_________.

Apr 10, 2015

Football is like porn – Holy Frotteurisms Care Bear! The guys talk about superstitions and fetishes in this week’s pod. Don’t worry Jeff Plush…in no way do we connect you to the Plushie community. Blood diamond money may some day come to MLS, only to bring Chicharito or Christiano to Orlando though. As expected Juan Agudelo, Mr. Pee Foot himself scores a wonder goal against the Colorado Rapids of America. Richard doesn’t think Colorado is the worst team in MLS, his alternatives are a tad thin…we’re looking at you Philly! Owen Coyle hands out banana flavored condoms to all his players and RSL stay composed on the road.

P.S. Caleb Porter, someday you’ll want that tissue back…someday!

 

Apr 3, 2015

Boys and girls of all ages! Indian Leg Wrestling champ, Franz Beckenbauer takes on the world in 1978 and conquers all. Der Kaiser rules! During our week four chit chat the guys run down the wins, losses, and nil nil snoozers. Coach Vanney answers questions with more questions. Kaka doesn't misfire but the Philadelphia Union do, maybe they should have signed Fred Adu? The big question though, where are the players planning to eat after the game? Golden Corral, that's where!

Mar 27, 2015

The boys are back in town! Richard grew a beard and talks about the Schengen rule, and why he unfortunately wasn’t allowed into Spain. It has nothing to do with his Syrian Visa! Later the guys dish out facts they stumbled upon during the “fact finding trip.” After a few facts the guys just talk about squirrels and Sebastian Velasquez’s rattail.

The debate rolls on to the benefits of urine therapy and how Juan Agudelo’s National Team resurgence might depend on a good urine foot soak. Thanks Moises Alou! For the finale the guys scour through the MLS talent pool to figure who could fill in for the recently departed member from the hedonistic boy band, One Direction.

Mar 9, 2015

It's MLS opening weekend! On their last night in town, Richard and Todd say goodbye to Jose as the lads are headed to Europe on a "fact finding" mission. Todd and Richard will hit up five games spanning the Champions League, Premier League, and the Championship. Jose plans to study. Sorry buddy. Hopefully those f*ckers buy you a scarf or something. 

In this episode the guys debate which Girl Scout cookie Frank Lampard prefers. Caramel deLites, Thin Mints, Cardboard box, or Peanut Butter Patties. This debate will likely rage on. We review all the matches from week one and say nice things to each other.

Mar 6, 2015

The Flakoglost Futbol Pod takes a trip down memory lane with the 2009 Houston Dynamo. The guys reminisce on the time when Brad Davis, Geoff Cameron, and Brian Ching acted like big bullies to Brian Mullan. Years later Brian Mullan would have a cathartic release on a certain Seattle Sounder. Oops! 

 

Before the guys talk CBA – or lack thereof, they briefly celebrate Richard Terry’s 30th birthday by saying relatively nice things to him. The guys find out that Richard supposedly has a high IQ, two standard deviations above the mean. Jose and Todd appear impressed, though momentarily. Opinions are offered when discussing the MLS’s top five rivalries, adding a few of their own. Richard doesn’t agree that Seattle and LA are rivals. Todd and Jose are left scratching their heads on that one. 

 

It’s evident that the guys are disappointed with jersey week, at least Todd is. They feel bad for Sporting KC’s fans because their new home kits appear to be windowpane patterned work shirts that are currently on sale in most Macy’s department stores. If you’re looking for the new SKC kits they’re hidden behind the American Rag and Mossimo shirts, which are hidden just behind the on sale rack of XXXL Levi’s flannel shirts. The guys predict scores for week one and then go to bed.

Feb 27, 2015

World War III is on the horizon. Let's be honest, we're all a little nervy over the CBA talks, and the league not starting when it said it would, thanks Dad. But we're going to preservere and just talk, talk, talk about Major League Soccer anyway. Bombs from World War II are found in Germany and Russia near soccer stadiums. Don Garber drinks Orange Fanta (official/unofficial drink of the Nazi Party) and Sepp Blatter bathes in buttermilk - so sexual. Closer to home, ruins of Japanese Interment camps are found near Rio Tinto and Avaya Stadiums. Who knew? Probably Kyle Beckerman, that's who.

Signs of the apocolypse. Llamas make a run for it in Phoenix, AZ wearing Xolos scarves. We question whether border patrol needs a higher fence? And whether Luis Gil can run faster than an Ostrich? 

Feb 27, 2015

Acceptable or Not Acceptable. To party or not to party? Win or lose, the flako guys still booze. We learn Richard "Bon Bon" Terry idolizes Napoleon "Dicktate" Bonaparte. Today we discuss when it's ok for Major League Soccer players to throw a few back. Truth be told we don't really care, just play to win the game.

Richard admits that he'd be fine with Taylor Twellman licking his belly button. Also, we don't doubt that Conor Casey could drink a 30 pack of diarrhea provoking beer and still score goals. There's USL/NASL chatter thrown in there. CBA chatter too. Oh and Todd's annoyed with Jersey Week. 

Feb 9, 2015

Episode 1 - Introductory remarks and bro date with Don Garber.

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